My name is Bartley and I understand you recently lost Moshulu to a very wicked man called Ike. For the record, I don’t like Ike. Also, just as an aside, as I travel around the country I ask only that you love me and keep me away from Coastal Areas during prime storm seasons.
Moshulu is out to sea exploring the world, but I’m a land-lubber at heart. I also am heavily in favor of a good party and I adore getting my picture taken. Just in case you wondered.
You might have guessed that I’m named after the world-famous Bartley Hall on the Villanova University Campus. I understand a lot of learning was imparted in that particular building and I’m honored to be included.
When you send me on to the next classmate, don’t forget to include this letter, and if for some reason the person this is addressed to is no longer there, please be kind and return to sender.